“SOMETHING YOU GET THROUGH”

The 1980 movie “Urban Cowboy” soundtrack has a song by Mickey Gilley called “Here Comes the Hurt Again”. One line in the song says “Here comes the hurt again, but I’m used to the pain.” We are rapidly moving through the month of May and rapidly approaching the first anniversary of Carter’s death – “Here comes the hurt again.” I can already feel the tension, hurt and anxiety building in myself and I think the rest of our family as well. I’m not sure about “being used to the pain.” To some degree I guess it’s true; I don’t fall apart as often as I did, and even though I think about Carter every day – and it is painful- it doesn’t seem to be the searing, devastating pain that it was. I believe, based on conversations with others who have experienced similar circumstances it will always be this way. And the most intense days are the “anniversaries”; birthdays, day of death…

Each of us has our own way of coping and grieving, of “getting through”, and there is no right or wrong way (provided we don’t turn to destructive behaviors to cope). How many times did the hurting find relief from Jesus during His ministry? He cleansed lepers, raised the dead to life, healed the blind, calmed stormy seas… The families of those healed or raised to life also found comfort and healing from their pain and suffering and I think that is where we must find our comfort. I think that is best stated by MercyMe’s song “The Hurt and The Healer” which says in part

“Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from the explained
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remains
So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ll fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
Breathe
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through
So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ll fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say it’s over now…”

Which leads me to a concluding song: “Something You Get Through” by Willie Nelson. Here are a few lines from this song:

“When you lose the one you love
You think your world has ended.
You think your world will be a waste of life
Without them in it.

You feel there’s no way to go on
Life is just a sad sad song.
But love is bigger than us all
The end is not the end at all.

It’s not something you get over
But it’s something you get through.”

And we will get through it; it will continue to hurt and intensify as the month goes along. But we will get through it.

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